The other day I referenced the story about the nut who took the time and energy to place a minicam underneath a grate so, he could get decent panty shots and perhaps the elusive bare b**ver. I thought it was an illustration of the way men are hardwired, a way which women fail to completely grasp at times.
Yes, I thoroughly believe if men were wired somewhat differently and weren’t so preoccupied with sex we’d have a car that runs on water, a cure for cancer and a human colony on a few of the other satellites in our solar system. Yes ladies, there’s a reason a missiles have that phallic shape - and it’s all about having more missiles or the most powerful missiles (I’m sure you get the drift).
Anyway, what bought that to mind was a couple of conversations I’ve had over the last few days which further illustrate the differences between the genders:
One lady I know recently went for surgery and had a pair of shunts residing in her nasal passages for well over a week. When it came time to remove them it was a brief affair which caused her doctor to observe, “women rock!” Seems she had to perform the same procedure on a guy earlier in the day and it took 45 minutes of hand wringing and hand holding to work the patient through it - in the lady in question’s case it was a matter of five minutes and out.
Another illustration was a discussion I was having with ‘my dental student’ (since graduated but still beholden to my mouth - treatment plan that is), as she commented on my being a good patient.
Good has nothing to do with it really as I truly hate going to the dentist - I just can’t ever say I’ve looked forward to hearing the high-pitched whine of the drill. However, through the years, I’ve somehow mastered the art of being able to fall asleep in odd places. While this never seems to carry over to the bed at night, one of those odd places I have managed success in falling asleep at is the dental chair. If it’s just the kind of overcast day and I can manage to get cozy warm, I sleep right through the worst of it - no gas, no nothing. Even on days when it’s not especially overcast, I can mange to start to doze off if I put my mind to it.
Anyway back to that point I was trying to make, during today’s four hour sojourn in the chair (think of my mouth as a public works project, a highway or some such) and witnessing a truly brutal escapade involving another patient, Jan and I were discussing the whole pros and cons of patients, men versus women and such.
It was then she commented on the ‘good patient’ to which I responded that like most painful experiences, you just try to soldier through as best you can and not to let it affect you any more than it has to.
She had just gone through childbirth and I observed that even though it’s a painful experience, you try to make it through and afterward put it from your mind — if ladies didn’t I would think it would have to be ‘one and done’ for all women. The funny thing she observed though was during the night of her delivery (Thanksgiving night), she really went to the hospital because of the terrific pain she was experiencing due to labor. So, she’s there because of all this pain and they take care of it and at the end someone handed her a baby. Like it was her prize for going through all that pain.
Well, I had never quite heard it described like that and she noted that I was a good sport even though nobody would be handing me a baby after we were all done (my what a scary thought). I thought it was something I would pass along.
I’ve had discussions about the whole childbirth thing with various women through the years. One memorable dialogue occurred between me and an old flame the day after she had her first. I was a much younger man and I asked her what it was like. Plainly she stated it was difficult to describe in terms a man could understand - I opined the only comparable feeling I could possible liken it to was passing a bowling ball (gi tract - never done but 8 lbs is 8 lbs) and she figured that was a fairly accurate assessment.
Consequently, what’s the upshot of all this? Well, let’s just put it this way, you won’t see any men out there volunteering for the bowling ball experience - as much blather about machismo and such as there may be, if it were up to my brothers and I we would soon be a very extinct species. No, the only thing we’re probably good for is chasing after you women and doing some really dirty job around the house.
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